I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter but I also felt like it had to be written because of my plans for future chapters. So hope you guys like it.
Chapter song: "Frontin'" by Jamie Cullum
He left me alone in the room to brood and think about my options. I could either put on clothes and listen to whatever explanation he had cooked up or I could continue to lay here naked in bed while he prowled around my apartment alone.
Scrambling out of bed, I threw on underwear and slipped into my bathrobe throwing my hair up in a bun on my way through the door.
He was sitting on the couch waiting for me and raised one eyebrow when I entered the room. "Those aren't clothes" he commented looking at me in my semi-short bathrobe.
"I'm more covered than I was" I told him ignoring the way his eyes gazed over my legs disapprovingly. If he had suddenly decided that he didn't like what he saw and would rather look at overly tan twig legs then he could go have that. That didn't mean that I couldn't be comfortable as I was.
I left him to get a drink in the kitchen and try to regain some of the courage that I had lost the other night. Seeing him again brought back all kinds of unintelligible feelings that I couldn't sort out. I didn't know what I was feeling anymore and the sooner we got this talk over with, the better.
"Okay, you have my attention now- talk" I told him taking a seat at the farthest end of the couch away from him. I tucked my legs up under my torso as I faced him, automatically assuming a defensive body position.
"Why did you leave like that last night?"
I almost spit out my orange juice at what he said. Was he kidding me?
"Are you serious?" I asked wondering if he was just trying to get a rise out of me. Maybe this was some sort of mind game with him or something. Suddenly all of the courage and calm that I had gathered in the kitchen went out the window. "You were cheating on your girlfriend with me! And you let me think that you were single this whole damn time, Geno!"
"You never let me explain" he said eyeing me. Why was he so calm about this? I wanted to throttle him for not being as emotional about this as I was.
"Fine. Fine, explain then. You can start by giving me the answer you never gave me last night" I told him crossing my arms across my chest. Even though it wasn't realistic, I wanted my arms to form a protective cage and block his words from hurting me and my heart even more.
"Oksana not my girlfriend" he told me pausing and waiting for some form of a reaction from me. What, did he expect me to suddenly leap up and cry out with joy? "We date months ago, then stop. She want to get married, I don't."
"Why didn't you say that last night? Why did you stand there and let her talk to me like that?" I didn't know Oksana and after last night, I certainly didn't respect her but it still had hurt to be called a slut and a whore. Especially since he hadn't done much to shut her up.
"I don't know" he admitted looking down at the hands in his lap. If he thought that his seemingly ashamed, sad little boy schtick was going to work now, then he had a lot more pouting to do.
Still, no matter where we went from here, his story matched up with what Vero had told me earlier and against my defensive instincts, I believed him- to an extent.
"So are you going to be with her in the future?" I asked needing an answer to that question too. Even if he still wanted to be with me now, what if that changed in the future and he went back to the Russian blonde? Plus, I wasn't sure that I even wanted to be with him now either.
"No" he told me meeting my eyes again. "It over last summer, she just think if she keep coming to U.S., I take her back."
We sat in silence while I digested everything that he had told me. I only looked back up at him once I felt him him take my cold hand in his.
"So, we okay now?" He asked looking at me hopefully. He had moved closer and against my will, my heart sped up from having him close again.
"I don't know" I told him truthfully. Even if Oksana really wasn't in the picture and was just a crazy bitch, he had made me feel like shit for the past 24 hours and I didn't want to feel what I felt last night again. What I had been feeling last night was like the rug had been pulled out from under me. Worse, I felt betrayed by someone I had been willing to open myself up to and that feeling of betrayal had been dangerously similar to what I felt after learning about all of Peter's discrepancies. It just proved that I wasn't as ready to be involved with someone again as I thought that I was.
I wasn't healed, and now I worried that I wouldn't ever be ready.
I got up from the couch and walked back into the kitchen to put my glass away in the dishwasher. I had that itchy, anxious feeling in my legs meaning that it was probably time for me to get out of my apartment and go do something. As much as I wanted to pull the covers up over my head again, I couldn't do that- I wouldn't let myself be that way over a man who I hadn't even completely let into my heart in the first place.
I stooped down pulling a fork out from underneath the tray of the bottom rack of the dishwasher and put it back in is proper place along with the other dirty pieces of silverware. Wouldn't it all be easier if we were spoons and forks? When things got messy, we could go back into our respective squares in the dishwasher, get washed and steamed, and come back out looking shiny and new.
The living room was quiet and I wasn't sure if Geno had stayed or not. When I turned around, he was standing behind me watching me with a look of hesitation in his eyes. I didn't move when his big hands circled my waist and pulled me closer to his tall form. His lips placed one, almost chaste kiss on the side of my forehead. I felt my eyelids close on their own accord and he leaned back silently asking me for permission to continue. Before I could sway one way or the other, he repeated the gesture on the other side of my face, continuing with a trail of soft kisses down my cheek and slowly to the base of my neck.
My hands gripped his shoulders tightly almost as if I was afraid to let go for fear of falling down.
"She's gone" he whispered against my cheek. "Back to Russia for good" he repeated shivering as my hands slid into the short hair at the base of his neck. "I don't want her" the movement of his lips quickened forcing me to play catch up or risk losing in the game we had started.
His hands slid up against the soft cotton of my robe almost touching the mounds of my breasts before trailing down and gripping by butt and pulling me closer to his core. How we had gone from fighting to making out in front of the dishwasher in my kitchen was a mystery to me but after the past 24 hours' confusion, I was no longer capable of thinking. I let my instincts take over as I pushed myself against him and kissed him back, silently telling him that I wanted to continue.
We were losing patience with each other physically just as we had lost patience with each other mentally and emotionally. His hands fumbled at my front trying to pull the ties to my robe loose to where my skin lay underneath. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew where this was going. Just being near him like this and feeling his big clumsy hands slide perfectly over my curves caused my brain to short-circuit. Even if I didn't want him to reach me emotionally, we both had found something physical to reach and release together.
I hissed as he pulled the robe from my arms exposing my flesh to the cold air of the kitchen. It wasn't fair that I was the only naked one and he assisted me in pulling his sweatshirt and shirt away from his warm, taut chest. I purred with open admiration at the lines of his strongly defined chest, allowing my hands to roam and express that appreciation. My body took over as I rubbed our chests together, exciting myself with the rub of my already hard nipples against the friction of his skin. He made a guttural noise in the back of his throat and quickly hitched my body up allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist.
The steps to the bedroom were a blur as he continued to kiss me, our tongues memorizing every contour of each other's mouths. He slammed the door shut and pressed me back up against the door groaning every time I writhed against him begging him to get the show on the road already. He wasn't speaking in English anymore and the mumbled Russian was turning me on even more with each syllable. I didn't care what he said or did anymore, just as long as it felt as good as this did.
"Seriously Geno" I panted breaking away from his mouth and trying to grind against his pelvis. He grunted attacking my neck with renewed vigor and gripping my ass tighter against him. One hand slid beneath me and into the already wet and ready folds of my core. I was so ready from all of the build-up for him to fuck me already that I was past thinking about the consequences of my actions. He mumbled something that vaguely sounded like "patience" and I began to pant feeling myself slipping dangerously close to the edge of release as his fingers continued to work me.
He stopped just before I teetered over the edge and backed away pulling me with him towards the bed. We fell in an aroused heap of limbs onto the edge of my unmade bed. Beneath him, my legs parted instantly welcoming his body to mine.
"Seriously?" I groaned in annoyance at the feeling of denim at my opening. I wanted, no needed him to fuck me already. I sat up slightly watching as he awkwardly tried to unzip his jeans as quickly as possible. With no more physical barriers between us, I moaned as inch by inch he entered me and connected our bodies together. We fit like a puzzle in the way that men and women do and his lips met mine again as we began to move finding the release we had been working towards. With each stroke I felt myself getting closer and closer to the ultimate satisfaction, tilting my head back in ecstasy as he reached the spot that no one else had.
My eyes drooped in exhaustion as I watched him finish with a similar look of satisfaction passing over his features moving within me until he was finished. He collapsed with a groan on top of me, continuing to press kisses along the contours of my face. We were both silent as our hearts slowed down, beating frantically together, chest to chest. Without saying anything else, he smiled, eyes glittering and pulled me against him into his side, disjoining our bodies in the process. Wrapping one arm tightly around my waist, he pulled my back to his chest and let his warmth continue to keep me warm neglecting the comforter laying at the foot of the bed.
"Sleep" he mumbled into my hair tiredly. I remembered that he had a game the next day and wondered if it was a good idea for him to be staying here if he had to be up early and off to practice the next morning. The hand holding me against him brushed hair away from my shoulder as he shifted his face deeper into the crook of my shoulder.
"Sleep" he reminded me again. Relaxing against him, I decided to turn off my mind for the moment and follow his lead. I would have plenty of time to think about this in the morning.